Wednesday, March 24, 2010

On Passion

I am a passionate woman. Either you love that about me...or you hate it, but it has been my experience that very few people just tolerate me. And that's fine, I don't want to be tolerated. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that just about the last thing I want to be is "tolerated," but if I am accepted for who and what I am--sometimes even sought out for who and what I am--then I don't expect to be criticized for it later or to have it suggested that my passion is out-of-line.

Because either my passion is part of what you wanted me here for in the first place or else you have made a serious error in judgement for yourself.

And, truth be told--and telling the truth is what I am best at, for better or for worse--anything less in my life would be tragic to me. If I am not examining my life and thinking seriously about what makes me tick and then expecting the same from those I love most, then what is the point? I do not live an average life because I have no interest in being average. I expect more for myself and more from myself.

I used to worry a great deal about what others thought about me, and then I learned that worrying about that is useless. What do I think about myself? At the end of the day, can I look myself in the eye and know that I have been honest and that I have brought to the world the best of myself? Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes I fall horrifyingly short...and that's okay. But as long as the only standard to which I hold myself is my own, then I know I can continue to strive to be the best me I can be.

I continue to evolve, but that being said, I also expect those around me to continue evolving as well. For the most part that is not a difficult or unrealistic expectation, because I tend to surround myself with exceptional people for whom I have the utmost respect. I surround myself with people who inspire me to go big. I surround myself with people who set the bar high and who don't settle for mediocrity. I surround myself with people I wish to mirror because I know I am made better by their very presence in my life.

I have a lot of blessings and I count them often. Daily, as a matter of fact. But among those blessings I count my passion and what it has to offer the world in which I live. Sometimes I wonder what I would have if I didn't have passion? I examine my life on a daily basis, too. I don't expect others to be nearly as introspective as I am, but I sure do think more people might either be more interesting or happier if they did. I think people might tend to complain less about other people and circumstances less if they spent more time looking carefully at least that has been my experience.

I think it is hypocritical, though, to admire me for or to seek me out for my passion and then hold it against me when it is inconvenient or when it causes uncomfortable self-examination.

Of course, that is my passionate opinion. I tried having just an average opinion, but it sucked.


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