Sunday, March 28, 2010

Home Again, Home Again

My babies are all home...and I am absolutely tickled pink (or chartreuse, as the case may be).

Hub-O-Matic and I had the opportunity to practice being "empty-nesters" this week, and although we LOVE being alone and hanging out as a couple, we love being parents and having the whole family together even more. We are a laughing, happy, adventurous, wild family and it is crazy fun when we are all together. Don't get me wrong, HOM and I knock it out of the park as a couple, too, but there is something fantastic about our family dynamic.

Dinner tonight was exceptional--the laughter, the stories, the closeness...did I mention the laughter? HOM and I kept catching each other's eye across the table, and we knew: we are a family first and foremost. At our table sat our 3 children and my father--all inhabitants of our home. A multi-generational mosaic of beliefs, disciplines, interests, intellects, and it is wonderful. Our home is cozy and filled with life. It will still be a home when the children move out, but missing each of them will be something to overcome.

I genuinely pined for my kids last week. Hearing their voices on the phone made my heart race. I was thrilled that they had the opportunities to get out of town, but boy...I was not prepared for what being apart from them would do to me! I think it took me quite by surprise.

But they are home now! The bickering will start soon, I'm sure. They will once again resent being asked to help around the house and I will resent having to ask them to help--HOM will likely disagree about some parenting issue or another...but in the long run, that's all part and parcel of what makes this house a home.

Home again, home again...the best part of vacation was having the kids come home again.

Can't wait until Summer break!


Friday, March 26, 2010

My Shabbat

I just wanted to mention the fact that I am not actually Jewish. I know a lot of people assume I am--and, for some reason, people have always thought I was Jewish because I "look" Jewish (their words, not mine), when, in fact, I am actually almost 100% protestant born Scots-Irish (with just a little Welsh and British thrown in for good measure). Interestingly, before all of that, my people hale from Hungary and there is a hint of Spanish in the Irish, which means I could be Sephardic, but...who knows?

My point is, I am not of Jewish decent, but I do honor many of the Jewish holidays, customs and laws...but for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with religion. I do what I do for spiritual reasons that have far more to do with science and the Universe, and since adopting these practices, my life has become more fulfilling than I ever dreamed possible.

On Friday nights I light my Shabbat candles and sing my prayers and usher in Shabbat for my family. But it isn't just that. I believe that in lighting the candles and singing my prayers that I am connecting with a Universal Light energy and in doing so I am connecting with every other woman in the world who is also drawing that energy down for her family. And, because we draw the Light into our homes, we draw it down not only for our families, but for all of the people around us--so everyone has the opportunity to benefit from the energy. From the Light. The Universal Light of Creation.

To many I'm sure it sounds absolutely insane...and that's fine. I've been called far worse than that (and had it be true--LOL). I happen to know that for me, this is the sanest choice I've ever made. It has changed my life and it has changed me on what I believe to be a cellular level. I am not who I was 6 months ago.

I have embraced the Light and all that comes with it. And, tonight, I will light the candles of Shabbat for you, and as I do so, I will send Love and Light to you and yours. It is my honor to do so.

Love and Light.
Shabbat Shalom.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Nothing To Say

I've been pining about having another personal blog for quite some time, but now that I've created one I find that I have absolutely nothing whatsoever of interest to say.

I remember when I first started a blog back on Journalspace (RIP) in 2004 I not only wrote every day--I updated my blog several times a day. I was full of stories, anecdotes, poems, insights, name it and I was full of it. Now? Not so much.

I blame facebook.

Nah. I don't know what I blame, but I sure want to blame something. I want to blame anything but my own lack of imagination and creativity.

One of my all-time ever writers, Breakfast, messaged me today about reading my blog. What I wouldn't give to get some of my old JS bloggers back. I've got CJ Arabia, and there is another site that hosts several others, but the days of Journalspace are gone, I'm afraid.

Perhaps I need to get over the loss of Journalspace once and for all and just embrace whatever this is that I am about to do. I know who the JS GoGo was...who is this new incarnation of GoGo? What do I have to say? What am I all about out here in the blogosphere? How am I going to leave my mark?

We'll find out. It won't be today--or, perhaps, it has already begun--but there will be exploration.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

On Passion

I am a passionate woman. Either you love that about me...or you hate it, but it has been my experience that very few people just tolerate me. And that's fine, I don't want to be tolerated. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that just about the last thing I want to be is "tolerated," but if I am accepted for who and what I am--sometimes even sought out for who and what I am--then I don't expect to be criticized for it later or to have it suggested that my passion is out-of-line.

Because either my passion is part of what you wanted me here for in the first place or else you have made a serious error in judgement for yourself.

And, truth be told--and telling the truth is what I am best at, for better or for worse--anything less in my life would be tragic to me. If I am not examining my life and thinking seriously about what makes me tick and then expecting the same from those I love most, then what is the point? I do not live an average life because I have no interest in being average. I expect more for myself and more from myself.

I used to worry a great deal about what others thought about me, and then I learned that worrying about that is useless. What do I think about myself? At the end of the day, can I look myself in the eye and know that I have been honest and that I have brought to the world the best of myself? Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes I fall horrifyingly short...and that's okay. But as long as the only standard to which I hold myself is my own, then I know I can continue to strive to be the best me I can be.

I continue to evolve, but that being said, I also expect those around me to continue evolving as well. For the most part that is not a difficult or unrealistic expectation, because I tend to surround myself with exceptional people for whom I have the utmost respect. I surround myself with people who inspire me to go big. I surround myself with people who set the bar high and who don't settle for mediocrity. I surround myself with people I wish to mirror because I know I am made better by their very presence in my life.

I have a lot of blessings and I count them often. Daily, as a matter of fact. But among those blessings I count my passion and what it has to offer the world in which I live. Sometimes I wonder what I would have if I didn't have passion? I examine my life on a daily basis, too. I don't expect others to be nearly as introspective as I am, but I sure do think more people might either be more interesting or happier if they did. I think people might tend to complain less about other people and circumstances less if they spent more time looking carefully at least that has been my experience.

I think it is hypocritical, though, to admire me for or to seek me out for my passion and then hold it against me when it is inconvenient or when it causes uncomfortable self-examination.

Of course, that is my passionate opinion. I tried having just an average opinion, but it sucked.